River of Life Sutra

My heart wept today

It caught me completely by surprise

as I saw his picture, by chance

and knew 

A knowing without details

that love contained

will burst any soul  

So ~ I let go

and with that sophic volition,

I fed myself 

into the river of life

I am caught by its depth,

but swim deeper

as a current of desire

compels this descent

Near where I glimpse the bottom,

I reach out, to collect the sediment of a million lifetimes,

granules touched by what it means to be human ~

this human, in all her sadness-inspired wonder-filled madness.

I remember my lives once lived, and pause briefly to re-live one remarkable life: as Ginsberg’s 

mad black formal sunflower in the sunset.

In this deep state, 

I hold in my watery hands, 

each tiny piece of the world.

Would the sand become whole again, if I could just grasp it all?

The contemplation is broken as the tide calls out to us, the river and me, from the sea, 

and these lives re-living movements, flowing over riverbed separateness ease at first, then still, 

this once wept heart.  

Again, I let go.

And go deeper still.

Into the kind of madness that bears no name.  

Finding there only that which 

howls all mystery, all magic, forth, each transformation of a 

specter and shade of a once powerful mad American locomotive into golden sunflowers inside.

So ~ with gratitude, for these countless lives, 

the sediment of time, 

the river, 

and the tide to take me home, 

I take in one last voided breath, for this life,

followed by an out breath of what I will become, 

and gently ending, 

I merge myself into this one simple truth ~

Rivers only join